International Women’s Day …
It’s just a breath of fresh air how the world is changing women have more power, a voice with an eager audience ready to listen up and along with it more respect than they have had in the past.
So why is it still hard to have dreams, aspirations, and an opinion as a woman in this day and age? Why are we the last to be heard and the first to be dismissed?? Why are we judged for our life choices constantly and relentlessly?
Simple… it’s because were just not quite there yet the distance between where we are now and where we need to be, has closed significantly over the years but we still have a way to go!
Our parents, grandparents, colleagues etc they still have memories of a different time they may have years of jaded views and subliminal messages from their elders and the media images they grew up with to contend with and reconcile. If someone tells you your something enough times you start to believe them. The views that taught them where women should be in the hierarchy and where they should most defiantly not be.
People still say ‘man up’ when they want someone to act brave or do hard things.
Why can’t it be ‘woman up’ after all we are the ones who squeeze humans out of our genitals?
People still say women belong at home with their children bare foot and cooking.
We can’t we be travelling the world building a life for ourselves child free with our boobs still perky and not depleted.
People still say women are best as personal assistants and secretaries not the CEO’s.
Why can’t women be running the business and hiring women and men as their assistants?
People still say women should be on maternity leave not back to work in two weeks whilst our husbands take paternity leave.
Why can’t we equally share responsibility with our partners and do 6 months each.
People still say women should be married with two point 4 children and a picket fence by age 35.
Why can’t we decide we don’t want to be a mum and decide on for ourselves what we want and when we want it without questions or ridicule?
People still say women should be the cooks the cleaners the baker the care givers the wall flowers in the workplace.
Why can’t we be the boss, the voice of the company the face of the campaign the go to in our industry?
Well now we can do a lot more of this and the world is catching up women have a say!
Women are working multiple jobs and founding ground-breaking organisations. Fronting enterprises and successful businesses all whilst pumping breast milk on their lunch break in the toilet.
Women are doing more than they’ve ever done don’t you think? or are we just being seen more than ever before, and people are starting to take notice. Were now allowed a seat at the table we still don’t have the same number of seats available to us but there’s a seat to fight for none the less.
Some of this in my opinion could be due to the freedom of speech we have in social media. Also due to the women before us and among us who have opened doors for us to step into the world and take our seat at the table.
For every magazine publishing an air brushed unrealistic depiction of a woman on their front cover. There is a social media account of a woman cooking dinner, whilst breast feeding in her comfy trousers no makeup, wearing her luscious dry shampooed mum bun with confidence as a badge of honour. GO YOU!
Which one makes me feel more empowered the airbrushed filtered cover girl sending us subliminal messages that we should filter ourselves to be worthy of a front cover to please others? (likely the fault of the company running the campaign not the editor or model in said picture) I’d like to think I f I were ever in that position I would insist on it being a true representation of me entirely cellulite spots and all! I don’t relate to the cover girl or would it be the woman baring her truths and scars allowing you to be yourself no questions asked and without judgment…. She IS my inspiration!
Brands and retailers are picking up on this and running with it. The new mum range for their clothing boutique available in all sizes convenient and comfy or a skin care line for the woman who doesn’t have more than 5 seconds to wee let alone to bugger about with cleanse tone and moisturise thank you to them for being realistic and joining us you are catching up!!
We can show women and girls that alongside having and caring for families they can and do- run a household- volunteer as school governor-plan their next sales pitch- volunteer for local charities- workout 3 times a week and paint the garden fence all at once and we see you…WE ARE a wonder!
We do make good personal assistants why? because we can multi-task the shit out of life and do it well with a smile on our face. Even whilst were 9 months pregnant or nursing period pains and sleep deprivation. We can run a business and whip up a top-notch lasagne with a side of homemade garlic bread. We can talk on the phone whilst having a wee and playing dollies WE CAN.
So, let’s give them the credit for why we are good at those things, lets also remember why we are capable of even more than we are given credit for and why we should own that and run with it.
I challenge you to read a day in the life of every women you know and not finish it in awe of how much she has achieved and how little of it she did solely for her benefit or personal gratification.
On the other hand, remember to raise a glass to those women who want only to be at home with their babies or don’t want to have babies or have days when we just do not get shit done and barley dress ourselves let alone shower! You ARE still a super-human regardless and maybe YOUR super-power might just be knowing when not to take the weight of the world on your shoulders and when to say NO not today darling off you pop! It’s time to replenish my own funds I’ll be under the duvet if there’s an emergency.
When did you last feel like you were achieving everything you wanted and more?
I can think of many times when I didn’t give myself credit for being shit hot at life/ womanhood and expecting nothing back for it nor being offered no round of applause from society for doing so.
I remember being 7-8 months pregnant with my daughter I had a full-time admin job in logistics a 3-year-old son, a fiancé, a mortgage and was the co-owner of a business with a family member. How did a day in my life look then?
What did I do once I had dropped my son to the childminders?
I went to the shop on route to work to get supplies for dinner later that night. Quickly shoved a random breakfast in my mouth in the car and arrived at my full- time job where I would stay between 10am-6pm
What did I do during my 15-minute break at work?
I went on our online store of our side business processing orders, answering requests and queries, and replying to customer’s sometimes grabbing a snack from the vending machine at the same time.
What did I do in my lunch break?
I walked to the post office near work carrying 2 Ikea bags full of parcels to be sent to customers and ate my grab and go lunch on the way back ready to start work again 5 minutes later. (this is a marathon when you are heavily pregnant trust me!)
What did I do when I got home?
I did mummy things with my son, I counted stock I updated orders I packaged parcels ready for the following day’s lunch break post office run. I read my son a bedtime story, I cleaned up after dinner. I spent time with my partner. I planned my next move.
But you have the weekends away from your admin job, don’t you?
What about my job as a mum or my joint part time business? Does being a mum have a weekend, or does it just have a different set of tasks to the weekday ones.
What did you do at the weekend then?
I loaded my car with stock picked up my business partner and then we queued from 6am for our pitch at the market, we put together clothes rails and created a display laid out our stock ready to sell, I gained swollen feet and a sunburned nose whilst selling our stock and raising money to support ourselves. We talked plans we talked dreams and aspirations we hustled. We did more because WE wanted more, and so we chose more.
I have pictures of that sunburn I can remember feeling the sun on my skin and knowing that maybe the sun cream I quickly splashed on was just not a high enough SPF for today’s rays or was it because I’m 8 months pregnant and the sun penetrates our skin more? I also remember feeling grateful it wasn’t raining …those were the hard days, but we took it in our stride!
I have memories of giving birth and shortly after I’d be in bed at 3am raising our social media profile or getting excited about a retweet from an influential person or the buzz of the ping of my phone notifying me that an item had sold, or someone was actively filling their basket on our website. This was 3am!!! this was alongside breastfeeding, changing baby girls’ explosive nappies and eating chocolate digestives to keep me awake in the dark of the night. Aren’t we just marvellous beings!
This is NOT me saying look how amazing I was doing what I did whilst pregnant and you should do more. (I also did a lot of sofa time and cake eating)
It’s NOT me saying I can do it better than you, there’s a lot I guarantee you can do better than me we are not each other’s competition even if the media try to tell us we are, this is part of the problem!
It’s NOT me saying this is what women should be doing.
It IS me saying on International Women’s Day and every other day going forward please take a moment and really look at what you are doing now, what you have been doing previously and remember a time where you can say….
I don’t know how I did that, but I DID, and I am superhuman and I can actually do anything I want to do! YAY ME
But If today that means, eating crispy cremes and watching Netflix whilst crying into your cappuccino because although you whined and moaned that you were ready for the kids to go back to school, you now in fact miss them like crazy then that’s fine. If it’s running a marathon eating super healthy and spending hours on your hair, then that’s fine too.
I stand with you; I see you and I respect you.
Happy Authentic Wonderous Women
May we know them
May we be them
May we raise them
May we also not compete with them
Off to cry into my glazed crispy crème and excessively sugared cappuccino, whilst getting annoyed at the prospect of being dressed again for the school run in 5 hours’ time erghhhhh
Love to you all xxxx
Comments