8th September 2020
It’s my girls 3rd day back at school tomorrow and what does she confess after she gives me a kiss goodnight “mummy my throat hurts it’s hurt all day even when I drink it still hurts”
BEEEEEP it’s your worst nightmare normally for a few reasons obviously you don’t want your kid to be sick or worse still give you the sodding lergy, but there’s normally things to consider like childcare the battle of wills who’s job is more important who’s less likely to end up with their P45 on their doorstep if they stay off to look after them. Is this going to affect the plans we have at the weekend will I not get any sleep tonight when she walks in dripping with sweat and a raging fever at 2am ?? these are all the normal obstacles to consider and add greys to your head but now it’s these worries on steroids !
Now it’s shit I need to check the risk assessment is it if she has a sore throat she has to isolate we have to get her the intrusive nose poke test and if it’s negative it’s all hunky dory get you’re coat your going to school! or is it she has to stay off and so does big kid even though their schools are in different friggin villages? Maybe it’s we all have to stay off of life, go get the nose poke test, tape up the door with caution virus inside notices, stick on Netflix and hibernate for 14 days?
Nooooooooo
I give her a drink tell her she’s fine she just talks too much and put her to bed, walking back to my sunken spot on the sofa with cortisol starting to circulate around my blood stream like the feeling I get when I open the cupboard and realise we’re out of chocolate please god no!
I actually go to sleep and dream that I have taken her to A and E to get the covid test we walk up to the reception desk where a nice calm receptionist says “oh sorry not here if you look that’s actually the back of the que down there dear”… I turn round and it’s now apparent we are on like a hospital reception balcony and the que to be tested goes down the stairs zig zags around this gigantic hall like waiting area and out the bloody door. I say oops sorry and trot along dragging what seems to be a very poorly child with me. As we make our way down the stairs and past the queue trying to locate the end of it it’s seems like a lot of these people look like actual zombies that are possibly already dead and I find myself wondering if there in the right place ! we find that the end of the que is actually outside and randomly who do I come across slumped on a wall draped over a bush but my friend Kirsty how random she is a strange Ribena shade of purple the whites in her eyes have turned red and she has lost about 3 stone! “Mate I think you need to skip the que and get in their right now you look like your about to die” I’m sure just what she wants to hear from me. she replies “it’s ok I have been queuing for 3 days I’m probably just dehydrated you can go ahead of me if you want. Oddly I think what a good friend she is putting my daughter first and I shimmy into line in front of my zombie looking bestie. The next thing I know is the sound of my alarm and me lashing out at my bedside table trying to locate the snooze button with both eyes still shut and dribble running down my double chin ….. Wow that’s a dream I’d rather not have again and oh god I wonder how baby girls throat is this morning
As it goes when she wakes up she is still nursing a sore throat but no temperature no sweats I just checked the gov guidelines unless she has a change of taste/smell, persistent cough or fever she is allowed to go in hallelujah halllllelujah! I warn her not to cough on anyone drink lots and she'll be fine.
Dad fleetingly said you’ll be fine you’re going to school ever the sympathetic Dad comment, is it because they are conditioned to brush off potential disaster and power through to go to work and do that hunter gatherer thing or is it because they just don’t have the ability and capacity to have that burden on their mind for the day whilst they rush around job to job working hard to bring home the bacon? Probably actually just because he was in bed out cold by 9pm and didn’t have a scooby about her pre bedtime sore throat confession last night, ok ok fair play you had a busy day at work….I wonder what it would be like to just toddle off to bed at 9pm both kids awake no shits given? maybe I’ll put that on my Christmas list this year along with 95kg of Dairy milk and the ability to eat without going up a dress size.
I will spend the day overthinking and catastrophising all the potential issues to arise from the sore throat keeping my phone on loud in case the school call’s, typing out what’s app messages ready to cancel the next two week . But I’ve also decided I will use this mummy angst to fuel my next blog and throw it all up on here for you lovely people to read about
It’s ok to be riddled with anxiety as a mum on a regular basis NEWSFLASH we are wired that way we are created cell by cell piece by piece to worry defend and protect our offspring no matter what until the day we die ….
I mean we just gotta own it , know that it’s normal, find an outlet (legal) and tell yourself it’s because I am blessed with the ability to care and feel so deeply and I do not try and escape it anymore with quick fixes my mind thinks this way just go with it.
12th Sept 2020
Turns out they just had colds and they are totally fine now baby girl got over it quicker than little man as he suffers with ENT issues anyway but all in all it was ok I did spend £40 on new digital thermometer and purchased shares in calpol and ibuprofen but their temps never went above 37.0 thank the fever lords!
We have since had a change in rules in the UK, we are to wear face masks for the school run and now the number of people whom can meet in or outdoors at any one time has been reduced back down to 6 with certain exceptions e.g children going to education/work, school being exempt.
At least now I can skip the lipstick and blusher for the school run ...oh wait I do that anyway!
(Shout out to my very real friend Kirsty from my dream, she is certainly not a zombie actually just a hardcore amazing mum, wife and nurse and we had a good giggle over my dream when we met for posh brekkie of sausage sandwiches a few days after said dream love you)
Mum Mantra of the week
That mum you envy in the playground the one who glides to the gates porsche keys in hand with all her ducks in a row like the crap just bounces off, her blessed with all her chins in one ……she has crap days too and she probably looks at you the same way envious and in ore ! so give her a smile instead of the evil eye we have to lift each other up ladies and gents!
Life is hardest when your doing it right feel all those feelings and remember your not alone. My baby girl below ..... Isn't she creepy :-)🤎
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